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2002-04-19 @ 11:52 a.m.
last night this kid i know almost od'd. on heroin. it happened right after i left his house, and when we came back, it was over, and he sat on the couch for an hour nodding in and out of coversations.
and i just sat there thinking, how sad the whole situation was, and how i wished i could help him. because he is such a good guy, and he doesn't deserve that shit. he jsut doesn't. and i looked around at everyone else int he room and they were either putting on a happy face - and fakin coversation, or they were staring at the floor, because who knows, maybe the solution is there.
but no
and in the end he was ok, he fell asleep and we left, but thats bullshit. "in the end he was ok" bullshit. he is not ok. and we know it. and we ignored it. because we are fucking scared, of cops, and pissing him off, and the truth. and we are too young to fix him. and too smart to join in. so we jsut sit with him. and we pick up his body when he is convulsing and shake it, and scream "wake the fuck up!" and he does. and then its ok. bullshit. but we pretend.
becuase, hes done this before, and hes made it out alive each time.
to me thats the scariest part.