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2002-05-16 @ 11:16 a.m.
its so weird to think that in a few months my life will ever be the same. i'm leaving town, bailing out, hitting the road.
jack
and i wonder sometimes if college is right for me.if higher education will take me to the places i want to go. i want to travel. be on the road like jack kerouac, but, i'm not nearly as tortured or as brave as him.
i've been so scared latley. wanting to bask in the moment or leave it all behind - not being able to decide whch though. and when the candy is gone i still want more.
of all good things - i still want more, and i try to avoid the bad altogether..because i think that i am weak. and when days are cloudy so am i.
should i fix this or leave it broken, because afterall that is who i am. i have a front of pure steal, a heart of pure mush and a mind that is scattered like the wind - in all directions at all times, never settling