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2002-07-12 @ 1:44 a.m.
tonight was cooler than its been in awhile and I find myself wrapped in a cloak of dissapointment and lonliness, becuase the couch felt empty with both of us sitting there and the night was silent without the feeling of your stare
i could have almost kissed you - if you'd have looked my way, and i would have waited all night, but you didn't want me to stay. it feels like everything i have, is just out of reach, including you, including your need...and i sit in regret, crumbs on my lap, solitude complete
and when i hugged you goodbye i tried to seem ambivilent, i tried to seem cold, because i felt like a window, i felt like you could see my soul. It was bruised and embarrassed, and mistaken again, because you could hav kissed me too...but you didn't
you didn't