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2002-05-18 @ 4:57 p.m.
I don't know why I use drunkeness as an excuse to get close, to feel something. how can I be content to sit in the back seat of a car and eat cheetos and hold hands with you? you? and why do i feel like if we did that- merley that - forever i really wouldn't mind at all. I'd like it.
why do i like you so much already and why can't i just leave the phone off the hook - or not answer it when you call. NO i don't want to pla games, but don't want to be avialable for heart abomination either. done it. hate it. refuse.
why do I treat you like a nuisance -and when you try to hang out i say "hmm dunno, maybe" and then get off the phone feeling thoroughly unsatisfied. Iam a walking contridiction. but i do like you. i do.
you are an alcoholic. former. and you used to use girls. used to. so you say. you are not who i wanted, who i expected in my life, but i care already. and its too late. now its 5 on saturday and you are watching star wars at the theater WITHOUT ME
i don't need to be with you. but hey
star wars is really cool....