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2002-05-20 @ 11:13 p.m.
i'm not doing it to myself anymore. all my tears are gone and you could drown in them, or choke on them for all i care. i hope you do, and ihope you vomit the putrip heart of yours out of your mouth, and flush it down the toilet along with the bile and selfishness that is who you are.
you are being rotten.
and i hope in a weeks time you wake up with the mess encasing you in a thick crust, and you finally crack out of it, and you realize how much you are stinking up the joint. - you should shower and let the scum oze down the drain, along with some of your asholeish ways, oh and throw in your guitar. and piss on it too. you fuck.
after that is done, why don't you dry off with a cumridden towel, like from the nights at your house when we were too lazy - oh sorry is that crude.
because you want t know what i find crude? the fact that you are judging me when you have been hanging out with a girl who probably literally and not jokingly listens to britney spears. yes i want to vomit on her glowing hair.
you fucker.
jeepers creepers was that psychotic of me? Did I say that out loud? GOOD. i HOPE IT MADE YOU CRY, OR ATLEAST TREMBLE IN SOME FORM OF MENTAL OR PHYSICAL ANGUISH. my body is tired from caring and my heart is all fucked up. so thank you. thank you for 2 years - and thank you for nothing at all. you say you can't talk to me anymore, without feeling hostile - so tell me my love - was it the fact that i loved you so much that pisses you off, or the fact that i see through you now? because if i was fake and found out - i'd feel hostile too...sucks man. an maye you aren't a terrible person, i wouldn't know - i'm covered in your shit and that makes you pretty bad to me. and maybe you do care, in a sick way...because if you didn't you would jsut leave me alone... you know what the thing is? you know me- better than i wish to admit. and I can't lie to you - or pretend to be ok if i'm not. but the fact that you use that knowledge to drag me througt he swamp of my emotions on a regular basis just makes you a fucking dickhead. a fuckbag. cumlog. i feel like i have terets - but this is fun. everything i want to say to you - ican say - and you'll never know. ever. and when i look back you will be on a pedestal. you will be my first love. and i know this now, because desite all of what i have said when i see you - my heart still cries. you affect me greatly. sickly wholey. golly day.