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The days when you feel the need to pass the time quickly are the slowest and the worst.

I decided i'd rent sex in the city on dvd - the 3rd season, and i sat on my couch this morning and watched six episodes. six. I took a long bath, i shaved my legs slowly and my armpits. I sunk under the water and i held my breath. I applied lotion to my entire body and even put on a little bit of makeup. I attempted to dance around my room to the pixies but i wasn't even in the mood to do that to my full potential. instead i put on bjork (cocoon) and i became melancholy and stared at my face in the mirror. and the irony of my clothes is that they are flowy sort of loose fitting and comfotable. and i keep thinking with every shirt i put on how appropriate that seems.

I sat on my couch with my dog and i listened to the rain. i wanted to go stand in it . I wanted it to cleanse me. I feel so dirty. i am so scared.

I am over a week late, and i'm feeling no symptoms of pms.

I want to die

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