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2002-07-23 @ 3:34 p.m.
my old friend alex brought me over a cd yesterday.I wasn't home when he got here but my brother gave it to me and inside was a note that said "for some reason i thought you needed to hear this. enjoy, Alex"
the artists name is Julie somebody, and she reminds me of fiona apple. expecpt maybe if she was drunk, because the words are hard to understand, but the music is melancholy. the cd made me sad all day long. It made me miss the way things used to be. it made me miss the people that i used to call my best friends..and now we've grown apart. and it reminded me of a time when i didn't know of hurt, becuase i adn't experienced it yet, and i was pure and happy.
What alex doesn't know is that sitting in hs basement, with him and doug and damon and nicole and jake and talking about nothing and everything, and analyzing music, and the genius of thom yorke, or kurt cobain and drinking cheap vodka mixed wth dr thunder...those were the best times of my life so far. I miss them dearly. it may sound simple to you. but those people changed me so completley and they will never know. they made me appreciate art and music and silence.
some may have called them weird or eccentric or dorky, but i did then and stil do now view them only as the coolest bunch of kids i've ever known.
Doug startd me on cigarettes and weed. and he got me to appreciate the guitar and jazz, he tought me what love was and he showed me true hurt.
Alex taught me that its ok to think fr yourself, to question authority and noramalcy. he tought me that darkness is beautiful if you embrace it.
and you might think that its weird that one small gesture like bringing over a cd - has sparkd this melancholy rant...but really i am happy.
I am moving on now, but i will always have those memories. Whenever i hear bjork, or radiohead, or pinkerton or the tool box set, whenever i see a guitar or smirnoff vodka with the red cap, i will remember
and what yesterday told me is that not only have they left an imprint on me..but that quite possibly - i have done the same for them..and thats pretty fucking cool.