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2003-03-15 @ 12:05 p.m.
yesterday I was looking online for my future profession. So far I MAY want to be a chef or french cuisine, a makeup artist, or join the peace corp, and then be really noble and humanitarian like for the rest of my life, and travel the world.
because i don't like school, or this town, or my house, or my boyfriend, or my friends, in particular right now, so maybe if i leave i'll find a new and even better of each...
isn't this what it is to be 19? To feel thoroughly bored, and unsatisfied, but to do nothing to change it? fuck that.
music has even stopped inspiring me. Suddenly EVERYHING - even my own likes seem so contrived. I wonder why i like any of it at all....because it sounds cool? because the words inspire emotions that my small town like don't permit me to feel, so all i feel is pointless?
the only good song in the history of mankind is at last by etta james. because it transports me to a summer day. hmmmm. Stevie wonder is good too. he's a cool guy.
but everyone else, including everyone i love - they are all just asholes like me, trying to be original, but being too insecure to feel whats real, so they create art for the world..to make us say "what was she thinking?"
I am majorly pmsing.
i'm gonna go now. I'm going to the farmers market. how cool is that